I have long been a believer of positivity. It's a word that many use but does not exist in the dictionary. Yet.  In the past 10 years, the field of positive psychology has grown exponentially; as has the role of appreciative inquiry in the field of organizational development.  I love this and am very intrigued by the expanding research, centers, and academic leaders.  For me, it's wonderful validation for the management philosophy that I have been ascribing to for years in the workplace, even as far back as my undergraduate days twenty years ago.

When I first started out managing in my sophomore year of college, I always felt it best to work from a positive vantage point with my team.  I didn't shy away from feedback (as most do) but would position the feedback in a constructive manner and if possible, in such a way as to seem almost positive so they could hear it, absorb it, and then apply it.  I have continued to hone and develop my positivity style as I have grown professionally. I still feel it is of the utmost importance to give feedback as close to the moment as possible, both constructive and positive.  So strong is my belief that feedback is the greatest gift, I wrote my graduate school thesis was on its value in the workplace.  I place just as much importance on giving valuable positive feedback and believe if it's warranted, you can't possibly give enough positive recognition or praise.  If you think you can give too much, my guess is you are holding back and aren't giving enough.  I know that when I get well-timed piece of positive feedback, it is like a power bar to my soul.  It can feed me for months.

The best feedback I ever got, that still resonates with me almost six years later, was when an individual told me "you always make me feel so good about my ability and potential, even when I know I need to improve, you do it without making me feel bad about myself. I don't know how you do it, but I always work stronger after being with you."  It is forever tattooed on my brain.  I absolutely think you can develop, coach, encourage, and grow anyone toward their goals, their aspirations, their dreams with the power of positivity.  

Do you have positivity power in your life? Let me know! Anissa

I was reading an article recently that mentioned the value of having a mentor.  Professional women benefit greatly as we navigate workforce issues with family, graduate degrees or community involvement. It is by sheer happenstance that I began working with my mentor coach, but can say that I truly appreciate her gifts and am grateful to know her.  Our relationship is beyond any expectation I could have ever imagined possible.  She is a successful entrepreneur twice over and is truly inspiring.  What I value more than anything is her absolute genuine personality, boundless energy and amazing insight.  Her beliefs in me, my abilities, and desire to help me work harder toward my desires push me to think beyond my limits, to do more than I thought possible, to be more than I dreamed I could be.  Yes, I am gushing a bit.  If you have a special mentor/coach relationship with a person who truly has your best interests at heart and wants more for you than you can even begin to want for yourself, you too will gush.   The path my life has taken over the past four plus months could not have existed without her being on the path alongside me.   To CC:  you are the best!  I love how you "get" me and how our relationship continues to grow stronger!  I will never be able to say Thank You enough.

I hope each of you has a mentor/coach in your life. The value of the right person walking alongside of you, supporting, challenging, and encouraging your goals and desires is a relationship that brings immeasurable value to both!

Anissa 

I love bobbleheads, the little toy figurines in which the head of some celebrity, action figure, or personality sort of bobbles around when jostled or poked.   They remind me of the hula girl figurines that you see in taxi cabs.  For me, I just can't help but smile whenever I see one.  For one reason, they just have that whimsical quality that make me smile.

But the other reason is because I also associate bobbleheads with "yes" people in the workplace. You know the kind, they agree with everything the boss says and you wonder if their head might snap off from all the vigorous head nodding.  Well I call yes-men or yes-women bobbleheads and I am not a fan. There is no diversity of thought, perspective or challenge when a boss cultivates that kind of culture and reinforces behavior in her team like that.  

In my former life, the management team attended a sales conference San Francisco and some of us specifically planned to arrive a day earlier to enjoy the sites.  Unfortunately, my boss at the time ended up insinuating herself into our dinner plans at the The Stinking Rose (amazing restaurant) and created a very awkward situation.  Some of us did not consider her a friend and didn't want  to spend our personal time with her, knowing we'd be together 24x7 for the upcoming four days.  To combat the situation and make the best of it, I purchased a garlic bobblehead from the restaurant. Yes, the garlic clove was dressed up like a chef and his garlic clove head bobbled.  It was my way of making light of a situation that wasn't, to recognize my views about her as a manager without having to say a word, and to privately enjoy the symbolism behind the purchase.

What do you do when faced with a situation that is unplanned but you are nonetheless stuck?  How do you make a bad situation better for yourself? Let me know!

Anissa 

 

 

I wanted to refer to something from the last blog, should's.  We have all done this (I myself am guilty of it too).  We say something to a peer at work or a close friend "I really should get the house power washed" or "I really should get a gym membership" or "I really should go visit my aunt and uncle in Arizona".   The should's in life are those large to-do's you believe you should do (see, there it is again), but truly do not want to do in the moment or you would have done it already.  By making a statement like that, can you hear the guilt already creeping in? You haven't even written it down on your to-do list and it already seems like you have been defeated.   

What works for me is to have two to-do lists. I know, how completely organized of me (that was the nice way of saying it).  I have my normal, day to day to-do list for those things I really need to remember to do (and believe me, if it's written down on that list, it gets done).  But then I have a to-do list at the back of my planner that is for those long-term to-do's like the one's mentioned above. I will list the date that I wrote it down too.  Then maybe once or month (or less), I will peek at it and on occasion, I will just cross off items that have been on the list for months and months (and months). I obviously don't find the item pressing or something I want to do anymore, so I am not going to look at it ever again. Some actually get moved to the daily to-do.  I know, how shocking, but it has happened, once.  As soon as they released the date of the last Harry Potter book, I went about rereading all of the prior books in preparation.   That was a fun to-do!!

When you hear yourself saying a "should", what do you do? How do you combat it?  Let me know! Anissa 

I recently had an opportunity to attend a conference in Atlanta, Georgia.  I chose to drive, despite the high gas prices, because it's only about a six-hour drive and I thought the reflection time would be helpful.  I am not sure how many of you build time into your day, week or month to reflect on your life, where you are and where you want to go.  I enjoy this a great deal. I have noticed that I get a lot of ideas, creative thoughts, and even some great solutions to problems that I have been wrestling with.

It's almost as if this my own manufactured sleep state.  NO, I am not sleeping as I drive!  But as most of us know, if you have a challenge or issue in your life, if you think about it before you go to bed, that often times, you work out solutions in your head while you are sleeping and poof, you wake up and the answer is clear.  That happens to me a lot and must be where the expression "just sleep on it" came from!  For me, being in a space that allows for reflection, self-analysis, and critical thinking is a real treat.  Sometimes, I do this on my deck staring out at the squirrels running up and down the trees.   For me, the place is not always important, it's just the space of time, without feeling guilty that I should be doing something.  I'll talk about "shoulds" next time, but if you hear yourself saying that word a lot, consider why.

How and when do you build in reflection in your life?  Let me know!

Anissa